Two Biscuits and Gravy. Yummy. My stomach could only eat a part of this early morning treat. I decide: share with the dogs. They liked it too.
The early morning: cold and raining; yet Spring has it’s way of saying Hello. My little window calls to me. Not literally, yet this is where I find myself these early mornings and late evenings. There I sit on ottoman behind this small window reaching for one of the tiny books I call Treasures to read… there they are, to the right of me. Today’s read: ” The Imitation of Christ”.
Four hours pass by as I get caught up in the second page of the book… “The Imitation of Christ”. I begin to ponder and ask questions to God. If submission to Thy Will is the Only Call we have on our lives then what does it matter to others what we are doing? And if we as Believers (True followers of Christ) Trust that this is the Only Call on our lives isn’t it true that the Only One we are held accountable to is God? We need to understand that those who God puts in our path may be there for only a season, and others may be there longer; yet over-all those who are Believers will be with us Forever.
Unemployed since Jan 01 of 2012 I find myself having trouble not being busy. There are days I truly enjoy sitting outside on comfy seat with legs up in the Sun. 56 I am and who would have figured… I begin to notice my own body. My body has features I like; yet I wonder to myself if it is my own perception of what I like. Another may think differently. I am sure others notice my slender ankles, yet easily seen are purple areas whereby my veins gather more blood there than I would like for them to. My doctor says: for such a young woman you have the most unusual anatomy. I began to giggle as I heard the excitement in his voice; as if he had stumbled upon something he might further study. Cannot shave legs any-longer; for if I do the sharp edge might just cut the thin skin around the ankle. Amazement filled my face as I looked down to see the tiny puncture spraying dark blood all over my white bathroom. I did not react at first… it was as if I could not believe blood would spray so fast from a tiny puncture. No panic. I reached for a hand towel and put it under cold water and wrapped it around the ankle.
Cannot look at clothing magazines anymore. My eyes tend to look at curves rather than the clothes I am suppose to select for purchasing. Our Society is made up of Imagery… lots, and lots of Images. Insecurity sets in. Adam had no other image to compare Eve to; other than his own. We are a Wasteful Society. We are a Wonton Society. Our eyes send messages to our brain every second. We are a Vexed Society. Any man or woman who is able to be Content with what God has Given is a Blessed man and woman.
Nehemiah 5 reminds me of today. We sell ourselves, our children, and put all we have under Bondage to Increase the Pockets of the Rich, and further the New Generations to Bondage. For they (the Rich) own us. They own all we have, and own the Rights to Dictate what we will have, what we will own, and what we Need to Invest in. They set up their Laws to Take with the Promises of Relief. If you own what you have be Thankful to God. Yet remember: even what you own will go another when you die. Why is it we work so hard to Obtain; yet we do not get to Enjoy our harvest? Should not the one who worked hard in the Field get to enjoy his/her harvest? Not sure why, but it Tastes so good and refreshing to me when I take Lemons and squeeze them into a Glass over Ice… stir and drink it.
My brother visits. As he sits and looks at Jewels I have collected over the years I hear him say: hope you remember me in your will. I have no will… I say in my heart. 56 and I get an urge to seek out a Jeweler to sell those Jewels to. People have a way of perceiving things of Greater Value than what one really has. It is sad when you think that by owning something of Value it would mean others only seek to Obtain from you.
I haven’t become hardened toward giving, I only hesitate to give. I tended to be a Very Generous Individual until I went through some seasons of Usury. Now I can Understand why God has us Test every Spirit which comes our way; not only certain spirits… but EVERY spirit.
Is it wrong to be Angry while being a Christ Centered Individual? No… Yes… depends. With Malice of Heart to go after someone for the cause of anger… to seek them out, try and destroy them, or even Kill that spirit is not exactly Justifiable Righteous Anger. Yet I do believe in praying on the matter that one could ask God to Tend to this Anger, and Tend to the one who angered you. God would be willing to Repay them for their wrong doing. God would be willing to bring Justice to their Door. God would be willing to bring a Warning and Judgment upon their head. God would be willing to use you in a Legal way to bring Justice. Yet do not Allow your Flesh to Justify a Judgment or Action. There are times when my mind creates scenarios of Judgment upon a wicked individual. I begin to weep; for it hurts deeply to know that such a pain would create a Torment inside of my mind.
Every single person ever born on this planet has a secret door… the Darkest Area of the Mind. Yes, it is there. You won’t know it until something unlocks it. We are Good People you say? I don’t believe anyone is Good. If you know Good inside of an individual… then that Good could only be of God.
Maggie, my cat has been routinely waking me up at 6 a.m. and this morning I did not want to rise, but I did. Brush teeth, fix hair and my actual alarm sounds. This early Sunday morning I hear another David sermon… ah, but this sermon is different. Pointing out the Three Duties/Commands set forth for a King in Deuteronomy… the laws of a King set forth by God. The King shall not take for himself many Horses. Yes, Power and Might. The King shall not take for himself much in Gold, nor Silver. Yes again, Riches beyond measure… or, Greedy. The King shall not take for himself more than one wife, nor have many concubines. Ooh, there is that thing men tend to do while in power… Lust. For doing so the King will FALL.
King Solomon… my goodness such Wisdom given to one man and he had Much in Gold, Much in Fashion, Much in Horses, and … uh oh, there is that Lust again… many, many women.
Set Apart: consecrated, anointed unto God to do a service unto Him. So that means we who are should be Set Apart as an Example to others… right? As a Christian we should not do as they do… who by the way are they? Others? Other Christians, or ? So, we are ALL sinners right? So who are they? This is the Biggest Topic on my mind lately… They who go about doing what is right in their own eyes and seemingly getting By With IT! Ok, so I go to church. I sit and listen to the sermons… week after week; yet I just do not feel FED. It is like Christianity 101 all over again… since… hmmm?… let us just say YEARS? Yet the Word says: meat in due season. Who’s season? The Church… or my season? Don’t complain just eat and don’t complain. :0)
Fill me up with Carbs and Sugar and what do you get? Fatty Fatty Two by Four… a wide spread… and can’t get through the kitchen door. Well that will teach ya huh? This is what Church reminds me of these days… refrigerator door swings open, and we grab only the Good Stuff for the belly. Yes, the Quick and Easy loaded down with Carbs and Sugar. The ways of man are only good to his belly… that belly of Lust. Solomon and David must have been awful lovers, because they became Quickly Bored with the many women they sought after. Eyes of Lust and Desire… just like that refrigerator. Quick Fixes in a Society filled with many Pictures of Lust and Greed. Much like Leadership…
– using people to get what they want
– using methods to get what they want
– taking advantage of their authority to get what they want
– devising in their mind ways to get what they want
See it… imagine it… go for it. Taste not, Touch not of the Fruit of this Vine… for when you do you surely will Die. Sin leads to Death. But oh, we all die anyway don’t we? Yes, and then there is the second death; to which Preachers do not seem to want to Sermonize on that subject. Ever wonder why so many Christians Sin so Much? I do. I have been wondering a hell of a lot lately. Do NOT as they do. Now where have I heard this before. Oh yes, Jesus says: do as they tell you to do, but Do Not do as they do. Therefore while in Church you should heed to do as they say to do, by authority; yet Do NOT as they do. You may ask… what is it that they do?
– women’s prayer group. To Help women. Women tell their despairing stories. Women inside the group go tell their husbands and boyfriends of the despairing stories spoken. Their husbands and boyfriends are also in Help Groups. Their Husbands and Boyfriends speak among themselves about what was told to them… pointing out these women who spoke their despairing stories. Then these despairing women become Targets for men who seek out such women. I use to wonder how such Wolves would be able to come into the Church and we Christians would be so willing to Allow those Wolves to sit among us. AA groups are such. No, not the man who actually wants/desires to change and become rehabilitated, but those who are TOLD that in order for them to become better members of Society they need to attend a church, act right, pay attention to other Christians to mirror image yourself, mingle among them, make friends, and give back to others so you don’t get caught up inside yourself. I am sure AA and other rehabilitative groups believe this will help one to get on the right path… yet I am seeing a FAR GREATER DAMAGING EFFECT.
Jesus tells us that those who Love others who do Good to them DO NOT PROFIT anything. Yet if you LOVE those who treat you Unfair, Mistreat you, Hate and Despise you, Abuse and Misuse you then you will profit by it. Jesus says: to pray for them. I believe He too means: to pray for yourself also… because anyone who puts me through hell I need to pray for myself. Recently I was put through what seemed like hell with such a Wolf, and honestly I wanted so badly to take matters into my own hands. It was the most frustrating, gut wrenching, despairing feeling I have ever felt in my life. Today I believe the Deep Down Belly Cries were of the Holy Ghost. The Spirit of God was trying to Help me Come to my senses. When we are doing things in our own way we LOSE all Discernment. Ever wonder why I capitalize certain words? I understand that a Teacher would have Red correction marks all over my writing, but there is a point to my madness. Discernment… we are losing it… “will God find Faith in all the earth?”
– want a baby? get a man, but that will not necessarily get you a husband
– don’t want a husband; yet you want a baby? science can take care of that for you. you don’t need God.
What happened to the days when women who were thought to be of God actually prayed and believed God for what they prayed for?
What happened to David and Solomon… God’s chosen to be King? What happened to them?
Not certain as to what happened to Solomon… wise, yet stupid. David on the other hand was a man who came to his senses… and Repented. I use the term: stupid to make a point. We are ALL stupid, no matter how much Wisdom is given to us. Yes, it is an oxysmoron… like me. True Wisdom is of God… Worldly wisdom changes as people do. Solomon was right in his saying: Nothing New under the Sun, no, nothing New. We think we have progressed and yet we are still doing the same things… over and over and over again… which makes us Stupid. We have become as the Word tells us: ‘ wise in our own eyes’.
They Come to their Senses
When Seeds of Repentance
Hearts Do Change
They Come to their Senses
When Seeds of Repentance
Hearts Do Change
God, He always remains the same
Father forgive them, for they know NOT what they do.
Sin leads to Death
Sin leads to the Second Death Eternal
Let Not your heart be Troubled, nor be Dismayed
When you see them profit by deeds of evil doing Do Not envy them
If the Darkness within them is Light unto them, how Great is that Darkness
For we were Called unto by God
We were Set Apart unto Him
We were Chosen to be His Own
Walking in the Ways of Christ
The Cross should be ever before us
His shadow is upon us when He is ever Before us
His Shadow Hides our Flesh that it may NOT be seen
The devil is swift and comes in many forms
The Wilderness is a Time to Reflect
The Wilderness is a Time to Ask
The Wilderness is a Time to Listen
The Wilderness is a Time to Change Direction
Stop going in Circles
Each Door is Closed; except for One
Cannot go Down
Cannot move Forward
Cannot move to the Left or the Right
Only One Way Out
LOOK UP LOOK UP LOOK UP